A day filled with surprises...

it's late now but i'm still wide awake. perhaps i'm still excited abt me at a new age, 25. Sounds old for a gal but i know i'm still very much like a kid within. :)

i had a very nice time with my dear friends today. Somehow i wasnt feeling myself these few days, a bit down and all. I totally had no idea what we are going to do today. Tot perhaps they might bring me to wash and cut my hair cos herngy sent a sms saying that last friday. It was all a trick and plan by vic. Good one, (applause) i shd say. I totally din suspect anything abt it.

We were actually all going for foot reflexology. Vic actually mentioned abt this before but i tot it was just a joke. It was something i have never tried before cos i'm afraid of the pain and the tot of someone touching my calf just push me away from going. But the guy was really nice. He constantly checked if i was ok and made the whole experience rather enjoyable. :) i think i would go back for more in the future. It's quite relaxing...

after the reflexology, we headed down to TCC for dinner. The food was alright, nothing fantastic but it was the company which mattered. Even though there wasnt an unusual conversation going on, it was just nice.

They left me and herngwei. I was rather surprised that they were leaving so early. Din expect it again. But it was all an act. :P Herngy had to bring me to walk ard heeren to stall time for them to get to my house. haha... I tot perhaps they will surprise me later near town or something. Din really expect them to go to my place.

It was an unusual surprise when i opened my room door, they were standing there with the cake and singing "happy birthday" at the top of their lungs. haha... i was shocked! man was laughing so hard as she speaks, vic was holding on to the guitar, strumming in his own way and how wee and herngy just stood there to sing-shout. i was just grinning from ear to ear as i blew the candles on the mushroom-shaped cheese cake.

i was embarassed that my friends saw the messy side of Bok. My room is in a turmoil, with stacked papers and dust everywhere. And little things hanging inside the toilet. but anyway, i have nothing to hide. :)

we just ate our cake, took pics, looked at the bintan pics in slideshow, played with the hola hoop.... then it was time to go home again. haha... my dad actually allowed me to send my friends home... another chance to drive and practise. :P This time round, it's all the way to beach road, tampines, strathmore and back. Long long journey but it was enjoyable still. :) The first real time to be on the high way with vic and my first time to send them home. i have always wanted to cos they have always sent me home last time and it's time for me to do my part.

Thank God for the smooth journey. driving at nite seems much better as there are less cars and the traffic is smoother. Vroom vroom.... chatting in the car was nice too. I'm just thankful for the surprises and the relationship we share. Next year may be a different experience altogether so here am i blogging all these memories down for review in the future. :)

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dear God, U know everything and i thank u for preserving me all these 25 years. may i continue to serve you and live you out more each day. i thank U for the friendships formed and the people ard me. May i be living my life towards glorifying U because U are indeed worthy. Keep my friends and i focus on Jesus everyday of our lives until we see U again. Praise U, Lord! :) Amen!

Thank God...

woo hoo... finally finished what was required of me to be completed for this week. It's like a burden off me. Thank God for leading me thru the bridge building and pricing presentation. It has been quite trying... Just glad that i can take a breather for now.

chilled out with 2 other frens today. they came over my place and laughed at my younger days pics... just like all my other friends. we did nothing much but it was enjoyable, just relaxing and talking abt their encounters with girls etc... then to my surprise, my dad actually allowed me drive my friends home... at nite... still cant believe it. hehe...

quote of the day

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates
your successes.

Doug Larson

We're living in reality

tv or movies can bring us to another foreign place which make you feel like it's better in there. Yest nite i was watching the all time fav: Pretty Woman... I think i have watched 4-5 times but it's still nice. America seems like a nice place to be in, cool and carefree. But when i went there the last time, i din think it was like that.

after being in my fantasy for a while, i was snapped out of it. realised that it's impractical to stay in there and not right as well. we are living in the reality. this reality is not that nice. failures, disappointments, discouraging matters, expectations of people etc.... well... maybe it's cos i'm on a pessimistic tone tonite. i'm sure i can think of things that can perk me up. but sometimes just feel like staying in my own comfortable shell and not bother about others. i guess i'm in one of that kind of mood.

oh well... for sure.. i know i can look to my Lord for strength, to go on... not be bothered or discouraged by the things i see... just to go on...

as i was thinking abt mankind and what i heard today... this came to me.

self-centred --- Christ-centred --- others centred

human beings are all self-centred creatures by nature. So, we ought to learn to be Christ-centred, to place Jesus in the center of all our decisions. When we are Christ-centred can we think about others and consider them above ourselves. May we look to Christ each day!

going crazy....

AAAAhhhhhhhh...... i'm going crazy with the archi project. Building a bridge sounds not so tough but it's not exactly easy as well. Especially it requires so much attention and focus. It's so unlike our usual projects at SMU. We need to switch to our handicraft mode and learn new ways to tie knots. Aw man... this makes archi not that fun... :(

but things have to be done. bridge has to be built no matter how tough and tedious it may sound. it's the process that is trying but i believe we will make it to completion. Hopefully it can pass the brick test. hehe....

it's first few weeks but i'm already getting the familiar feeling of stress... perhaps it's cos i chose to bring forward the deadlines of case presentations. It's good to get it over and done with in the earlier part of the term. :P ok, ganbatte kudasai!

oh yah.... and i'm going learn a new language this sem in my HRM module. and guess what... it's some ulu language - Norweigian... but i guess it will be fun still! :)

along came....

super tired now... just finished watching the show 'Along came Polly' with min... it was one of those girls get together time to just chat, chill, munch, etc... it was a pretty alright show. not the super fantastic kind but alright...

we talked abt dreams. it's funny how people have dreams. Sometimes it's not even something you tot of in the day but somehow it just appeared at nite. But of course there are times you think of something too much, the brain doesn't stop thinking about it when you enter slumberland. I just had one weird one last nite but from it, i see some resemblance of the reality. i have so many dreams... i cant even keep track. sometimes they remain so fresh in the memory when it just happened but when other dreams come along, they somehow are just forgotten.

dreams remain in a different world, somewhat distance, somewhat familiar. But they should not be taken too serious because it's the reality that truly matters. nasty dreams can be forgotten and woken out from but the real world is unchangable.

i wonder what i'll be dreaming tonite... hehe... nitez...

The Kingdom of God

from God's BIG picture by Vaughan Roberts:

The kingdom of God:

God's people in God's place under God's rule and blessing

was reading the book just now and this sentence really struck me once again. the imperfect will fade and this perfect kingdom which God promise to establish will be fulfilled. Such a short phrase but yet so apt.

I confess... many times i'm not living under God's rule and do things otherwise. I realise i need to be willing to let Him take control. It's not like a 'i have no choice' kind of willingness but seeing how incapable we are to rule our lives. There's so much pride in us at times, so much that we may not even realise it is there. I pray that this pride would not take over. Lord, help us to be humble and so broken before U.

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It's incomparable and it'll never be the same. just hate this self which surrenders so much at times. it's a weakness, it's a flaw. but there has been improvements... gradual and slow... still i commit it to my Lord...

Life is more than mere enjoyment and pleasure because nothing can really satisfy this inner being. No matter how much one play, go out, chill or relax etc... the list goes on... without Him, life would be meaningless... it is just chasing of the wind.

God in the OT gave numerous warnings to the pple to obey Him and even told them of the consequences if they did otherwise. But still, that much telling and reminding did not pull them away from being so focus on their selves. God is patient with them for years but they did not turn back. May we learn from such an example in the OT. We need to turn to Him and repent.

bloggers

why do pple blog? Is it a fad? something that youngsters do becos their friends are doing or do they truly want to jot down those tots and unforgettable memories? I started 'sketches of life' kind of on an impluse but i realise that i enjoy writing at times. But i rem what a friend shared abt blogging, that it is for those who are lonely and sad. i dun think so lor. maybe it applies to him.

i have been a daily fan of a particular blog which also led me to start this blog. she writes well, able to express herself beyond the common words that pple use. Also, she writes encouraging stuff. i dun know this person personally but it seems like i know her. weird kind of feeling....

somehow i think that blogging makes me think more and helps me remember things better. at least, it helps me rem those resolutions and things i asked for. i guess reading them a few years later will be fun and memorable, to see how much i have grown or have not grown. :)

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i hope to pace myself down this semester, to spend more time alone, reading, seeking, praying and also to spend time with my family. too much activities can wear me out man. i'm aging!!! but i'm still thankful for these bonding sessions.

Back to campus life - My Last Term!!!

it's been a week since i blog.

nothing much... just that life is around the campus once again. Seeing familiar faces, going for classes at the srs, attending cf, soon going to start doing projects and assignments... all these are so familiar to me. So used to such a life. what will it be after i'm done with it? well, i still have a few months to think abt it. just enjoy this process...

1st week of school is a little quiet. There seemed to be lesser pple on campus. i wonder why. perhaps it's just the first week. i actually made changes to my timetable. If i'm successful in it, i will be having mon and tues off. Woo Hoo... but then again, i foresee myself coming back to school, either for projs or meet ups with pple. There's always things to do.
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read the papers today and i felt so much for the tsunami victims again. It was a tribute special to those who gave up their lives to save others. It was so heroic for them to do so. They saw beyong their own lives but valued others as well. Like this Danish guy who saved many children but lost his life when the 2nd wave hit him. Another pushed his wife who was pregnant with his child to the roof because she didnt know how to swim. To think abt others before oneself is rare. All of us are selfish creatures and would naturally think of ourselves when such circumstance occur.
It's the same thing... in ministry, in life, we need to think of others before ourselves but often times it's the other way round. May i learn to consider my neighbours' welfare!

Imperfection!

realised during meeting today that everyone is flawed. This is not something new but it just dawned upon me that i shd not judge someone or expect someone to be this or that. There's imperfection in every one of us. No matter how beautiful or good looking one is on the outside, there is still something lacking. We can only be perfected by God. With this mindset, then i shd be more patient and tolerating with the pple ard me. But easier said than done. When conflict arises, it's really a test. Then again, i hope to try. Hope to see beyond that flaw but that precious one who is inside him or her. For a non-christian friend, i've got to see that he/she needs God in his/her life.

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expected but was still expecting... expectations come and go. But it still lingers...

Heard that emily got married. Cant believe it! She is so young. I rem those times when i was walking tog with her in the woods in Germany and she is now married. Aw man!!! But anyway, i'm happy for her. The germans really marry young. haha....

WELCOME 2005!

another year has just past... Welcome year 2005! Time flies. It's a whole new beginning again. Although everyday is a new beginning, today is a lil special becos it marks the start of year 2005.

It also marks a renewed spirit within me to continue this journey. A refreshed love towards Him, a whole lot newssss..... but the old remains. That truth and fact which is unchangable. I'm already redeemed becos of Christ's death for mankind and for his own glory. This truth is something that we bring along each year and it's something which shd be more imprinted into us as we grow.

I pray for my heart to be enlarged.

Lord, increase the love in me.. tat i can love more, give more, pray more... just more of U and less of me. i'm thankful for all the lessons in 2004. May i continue to hunger for Ur word and have such an eagerness to spread this good news! Lord, help me to be driven to serve U and Ur pple.

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The following is the top 10 items which are memorable to me. It's in no particular order cos memories would be biased to the recent events. :)

1. being voted as VC in CF - challenging but great opportunity to serve Him

2. the fun times bowling, playing frisbee in the pool and playing badminton with ys & cj - helping me to work out... hehe

3. tennis sessions with my tennis khakis - also helps me to exercise and lose some weight

4. bintan trip with my smu friends - fun time!

5. movie and chill out sessions at vic's house - i think i watched harry porter and many shows there... heh...

6. struggling with the different issues - shan't say what they are but they are sure tough and i'm not thru with them

7. being slightly more decisive in decisions making - i tot so and it was cfm by a fren too... heh...

8. the encouragements and prayers from various friends - thankful for the support... :)

9. the rides that my dad gives me to school - sometimes it's taken for granted... opps...

10. the bible study sessions in school - a time to study God's word. Cool!

11. the dinner sessions and late nites in school - w LY n V n whoever. enjoyed the company!

etc....

as i was typing, i rem one more so i included it in. So it's no longer top 10 but top 11.. haha... I cant name all that happened in the year but these are the ones which came to me after ransacking my brain. hehe... :)

I'm sure there are other events or items which are memorable but are hidden some more inside. Once again, i'm grateful for the past year, for all that i have gone thru. They were there for a reason and i believe they were for me to grow. Grow closer to Him and dependent as well.